I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize