Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He shit in the fireplace
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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