do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
