tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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