You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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