Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
