Well apparently he's into motor boating.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
