Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
