His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize