whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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