is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
