While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
