epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
