Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have post one night stand depression
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize