I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
