I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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