I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
