it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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