Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
