I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize