would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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