Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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