he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
