Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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