Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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