Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
