My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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