Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize