is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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