theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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