I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
