I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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