i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
