Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
