yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
