Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
