Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
