just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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