I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Enjoy the penises
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
