Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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