I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
