Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
