i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
do nipples grow back?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
