I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
