i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
