ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
honey bunches of taint.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
