we have officially lost it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
