I got chris browned last night
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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