You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
