At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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