At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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