dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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