i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize