After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
