so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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