What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
