I faked an abortion last night.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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