My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize