I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
