I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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