I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
