somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
