i love accidental penises.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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