im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
