im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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