At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize