I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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