remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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