It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
