Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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