hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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