ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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