Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
