Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
