Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
only you would photoshop your dick
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
