Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
