You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize