I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
