You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
