AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
